get a grip

these days i feel really lonely and down..
i dont know what happen to me..
just need to get a grip of myself..
most probably my mom hadn't call me for few days..
yeah i know, she having her great time eva in china...
but mama ur daughter here needs u...
really need u cz u just lift me by ur words...
i know i'm not too close to her....
not like my sis, she can tell everything to my mom without having any arguments...
for me lets keep it all to myself cz i just sometime...hurmm we hav differents thoughts...
last time, i haven't speak to her 4 a week...
it is horrible but i do hav my ego and she to sometimes being too hard on me...
but dont get me wrong..i LOVE her VERY MUCH!!!

with dis pressure building up in me...
i just sometimes cry alone in the room..
dont like ppl to see me crying....
just dat is sooo not me....
sometimes i just pretend to be ok but...ppl do not wut i'm thinking inside...
i just need to go back home...
having my family and friends back....
why my paper must finished the 1st june??
why oh why
if not i can join my friends to fana's convo...
i'm jelouse with them cz they can hangout together eventhough differents uni..
why me left alone in perak...i know i meet new ppl..
but sometimes i do need my old fren back..
now i can see the important of nadiah in my life...
almost 10years being her, now i feel lost without her...
argue with her make me close to her...she really know me..
from a little girl to a 20 year old me...

many ppl said that life is not so good all the time..
we do have ups and downs...
just need to be patient and strong living in it...
so i need the courage to stay strong eva...
i think i'm going weak each day..
but think dat i only need a week to keep strong
dat's make me even stronger....
hahaha :D really dont know whut i talking about but dis is how i felt rite now..
i'm cracking down but still must be sane to takes my exam...
dis fri is the toughest paper 4 dis sem..hope i did well 4 it..
ok need to continue stadi....more info need to be put in my brain...
ohh 1 thing...lately all my post is a very long post...
dont bother if u dont read any of dis...not too important also...